Why is it so hard?

Perhaps you already know you need more rest.

Or clearer boundaries.

Or to stop saying yes when you really want to say no.

Maybe there’s a conversation you know you need to have, a decision you keep going round in circles about, or something you really want for yourself that somehow keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the list.

Maybe it’s a course you’d love to take, a business idea you keep thinking about, a trip you want to book, or something creative you used to love doing. Maybe you just want an afternoon completely to yourself, to finally make that change at work you’ve been talking about for two years, or to get to the end of the week with enough time and energy left to do something because you want to.

You know, all those things you’ll get to “when life settles down”.

But then real life happens.

You’re tired. Work gets busy. Someone needs something. You don’t want to upset anyone or create an awkward conversation. There are a hundred other things demanding your attention.

And before you know it, you’ve done what you always do…

Said yes. Put it off. Kept quiet. Done the sensible thing. Dealt with everyone else’s stuff first. Told yourself you’ll think about it properly when you’ve got more time, more energy or a clearer head.

And afterwards you think:

“Why do I keep doing this when I KNOW better?”

It’s so frustrating.

Because you do know better.

So maybe you tell yourself, “If I could just be a bit firmer… more disciplined… stop overthinking everything… maybe I’d actually follow through for once.”

But what if trying harder isn’t what’s missing?

You’re not lacking awareness

You’ve probably already thought about this. A lot.

You’ve read plenty about it, listened to podcasts, maybe had therapy or coaching, taken courses, journalled, reflected and spent years trying to understand yourself better.

And if you were nodding along to any of the examples above, you may already have some idea of what’s going on for you.

Maybe you know you have a tendency to put other people first, avoid disappointing people or take on more than is really yours.

Maybe you recognise how quickly you can overthink a decision, talk yourself out of something you want, or keep putting something off even though you know it matters to you.

You might even understand where some of those patterns came from.

The problem isn’t what you don’t know.

It’s that you do know – but things still aren’t changing.

The thing is…

When life is full-on, the familiar response can make perfect sense.

It’s the one you’ve practised hundreds of times – the one that keeps the peace, avoids the awkward conversation, gets the job done, keeps everyone happy or simply requires the least from you in that moment.

And usually, it’s worked for you in some way.

At least in the short term.

But it’s later that the frustration, resentment, exhaustion or disappointment in ourselves creeps in… and the thing you wanted for yourself gets kicked to the kerb – AGAIN.

And then you’re left with the feeling that somehow you’re the one getting in your own way.

That’s the gap we’re going to explore in this workshop.

So what actually helps?

Imagine you’ve been saying for months that you want to make more time for something that’s just for you.

Then Saturday comes.

There’s washing to put on. Someone needs a lift. You really ought to answer that email. You think, I’ll just get these things out of the way first.

And somehow it’s Sunday evening and the thing you wanted to do hasn’t happened. Again.

It’s a bit like wanting to take a different route home.

You can know exactly where you want to go. But if you’ve driven the same way for years, it’s surprisingly easy to find yourself halfway down the usual road before you even realise you’ve taken the old turning.

In more than 25 years of supporting clients to create real lasting change, I’ve seen versions of this play out over and over – even with the most self-aware women.

What I’ve learned is not to focus on what someone should have done differently, but to get curious about the moment things went off course.

What made everything else suddenly feel more important than you? What happened inside you when you thought about doing what you wanted instead?

Because when we slow that moment down, there’s often much more going on than we realise.

Maybe being productive makes you feel useful. Maybe putting yourself first brings up guilt. Maybe you’re so used to responding to what everyone else needs that you barely notice yourself doing it…

That’s the bit I’ve learned to pay attention to with my clients.

Now, I’d love to help you explore this for yourself.

I’d love you to join me for my free live workshop on Tuesday 15th September, where we’ll take what we’ve been talking about here and explore how it shows up in your own life.

I’ll guide you through a reflective process using something you already know you want to do differently, and together we’ll slow down the moment where it tends to get lost.

And because we’ll be exploring this in a safe space as a group, I think you’ll quickly discover something else:

You’re not the only one who knows better and still finds herself taking the old turning.

There’s something powerful about recognising our own experience in other women’s – and realising that what can feel like a very personal failure is often a very human pattern.

You’ll be able to join in as much or as little as feels right for you. There’s no expectation to share anything personal.

We’ll explore what happens inside you at that crucial moment, what your familiar response might be doing for you, and what could help you create a little more choice next time.

Then you’ll find one small, doable thing you can start practising that could make a real difference – not by forcing yourself to do the opposite, but by creating enough space to notice the old turning and decide whether you still want to take it.

And no, I’m not going to give you another morning routine to stick to.

No half-hour daily meditation, pages of journalling, affirmations on the bathroom mirror or another list of things you should be doing to become a better version of yourself.

You’ve already got enough to do.

This is about working with your life as it actually is – and finding something small enough to use when the moment that usually trips you up actually happens.

In this free workshop you’ll…

This won’t be an hour of me talking at you while you scribble down more things you already know.

I’ll guide you through a process using reflection, breath and body awareness, so you’ll be working with something that’s actually happening in your life right now – and leave with something useful you can take straight back into it.

The details…

The session

Allow around 75 minutes for the workshop, where we’ll explore why knowing what you want to change doesn’t always make it easy to do, before I guide you through the practical exercise using reflection, breath and body awareness.

And if you’d like to stay a little longer, we’ll finish with an optional Q&A with a difference.

Bring a question about something you’re feeling stuck on, going round in circles about or finding hard to move forward with, and I’ll use my tarot cards to offer a fresh perspective on what might be getting in the way – or what could help you take your next step.

I’d allow around 90 minutes altogether if you’d like to stay for this.

A few words from women I’ve worked with…

Taking it into real life

You’ll leave with a better understanding of one place in your life where you keep getting stuck – and something small and practical you can try the next time it happens.

But one thing I’ve learned from doing this work is that change rarely happens in one neat moment of insight. It happens back in real life – in the conversation you finally have, the boundary you try to hold, the thing you make time for, and all the moments when the old way would be so much easier.

Because at some point, something does have to change.

Not everything. Not all at once. But if you want your life to feel different, there will be moments when you have to practise doing something differently – even when the old way feels easier.

And sometimes it helps enormously to have someone walking alongside you while you do – helping you navigate the old doubts and tripwires, stay focused on what you want, and grow the confidence to trust yourself when it matters.

If you’d like that kind of support, I’ll tell you a little about how we can work together more deeply through private Becoming Her mentoring at the end of the workshop.

There’s no pressure to take it further. The workshop stands completely on its own.

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If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to get in touch at cathy@cathyballard.com