Your Five Pauses
A simple place to return to when life feels full and you need a way to come back to yourself.
Each pause is here with its video and a few gentle prompts. You can move through them in order, or choose the one that meets you where you are today.
No catching up. No pressure. No turning this into another thing to get right.
Just five small invitations to notice what happens when life gets a little quieter.
Pause 1: Notice the reach
Invitation: Ringfence ten minutes and, as far as you can, leave that space unfilled.
This pause is about giving yourself ten minutes where nothing in particular is required of you.
Don’t give yourself something productive to do. Don’t turn it into a meditation practice or another thing to get right. Just allow the space to be there and notice what you naturally do with it.
You might try this while you drink your tea, sit in the car, wait for something to cook, stand outside, ride the train to work, or take a few moments before your day begins.
What we’re interested in is what happens when there’s a little space available – and what you naturally do with it.
Reflection prompt:
What do I naturally reach for when a little space opens up?
Write a few words if that feels good. Notice what’s true for you.
Pause 2: Notice the noise
Invitation: Walk for ten minutes without headphones.
This pause is about noticing the noise by taking a ten-minute walk without adding anything to it.
No podcast. No music. No voice note. No training. No consuming something useful.
Just you, your body, your surroundings and whatever is already moving through your mind.
This is not about clearing your thoughts.
Your mind may be busy. Let it. The pause is not to make your mind quiet. It is to notice what has been taking up the most space.
Reflection prompt:
What has been taking up the most space in my head lately?
You don’t need to work out what to do about it. For now, just notice what’s been taking up your attention.
Pause 3: Notice the cost
Invitation: Drive, walk, sit, or make a drink in silence.
This pause is about noticing the cost of filling so much of your life with doing, thinking and responding.
In other words: What is all that activity leaving less room for?
Choose an ordinary moment today and leave it unfilled. Drive without the radio. Walk without adding another voice into your ears. Sit somewhere for ten minutes without trying to make the time productive.
You don’t need to quiet your thoughts or make anything happen. This time, simply notice what in your own life has been getting pushed to the edges.
Reflection prompt:
What have I been wanting, needing or missing that hasn’t had much room in my life lately?
You don’t need to decide what to do about it yet. For today, noticing it is enough.
Pause 4: Notice the want
Invitation: Eat one meal or snack without distractions and notice your own responses.
This pause is about paying attention to something that can easily get crowded out: what you actually want.
Not the big, dramatic kind.
The small kind.
A pull towards something.
A resistance to something.
A sense that something doesn’t quite feel right for you, even though you can’t yet explain why.
A tiredness you’ve been pushing past.
A quiet preference you keep overriding.
A need you dismiss because it feels inconvenient.
Today, use something very ordinary: one meal or snack. Not because this is about food, but because slowing down enough to actually experience something gives you a chance to notice your own responses, rather than moving straight past them.
Reflection prompt:
What do I want more of, even in the smallest possible way?
Don’t dismiss the first thing that comes to mind because it seems too ordinary or insignificant. Wanting something small still counts.
Pause 5: Take one small step
Invitation: Take ten minutes outside and turn something you’ve noticed into one small step.
This pause brings the five pauses together.
You’ve noticed the reach.
You’ve noticed what’s taking up space.
You’ve noticed what that’s been leaving less room for.
You’ve listened for something you want more of.
Today is about taking one small, real step.
Because noticing matters. But change begins when something you’ve noticed about yourself starts to make a difference to what you actually do.
Take ten minutes outside. A garden, a doorstep, a bench, a car with the window open, a patch of sky. Somewhere you can get a little breathing room from the things waiting for you.
Then ask yourself: What’s one small thing I could actually do to make a little more room for this?
Reflection prompt:
What’s one small step I can take today to make a little more room for something I want or need?
Keep it small enough that you can actually do it.
Then do it.
Want to go deeper?
These five pauses are small, but they can begin to show you something important.
What you reach for.
What has been taking up space.
What has been getting crowded out.
What you want more of.
And what one small step might begin to make room for it.
But what about the moments when you know what you want to do differently – and still find yourself doing the same old thing?
That’s what we’ll explore together in my free live workshop:
I’ve done so much work on myself… So why do I still feel stuck?
Tuesday 13th October | 7.30pm UK | Live on Zoom
We’ll look at why you can understand yourself deeply and still get pulled back into old patterns – and how to create a little more space in the moment, so you have more choice about what happens next.