How to Have an Empowering Menopause

An empowering menopause: Reimagining menopause as a journey of self-discovery

Menopause. The word alone can conjures thoughts of hot flushes, mood swings, being bloated and exhausted and feeling like a psycho. For many women in their 40s and 50s, it feels like an impending storm, a dreaded milestone that signals the end of youth and vitality.

But what if we could reframe this transitional journey?

What if menopause wasn’t something to fear but a powerful graduation – a metamorphosis into a new, empowered identity? Let’s explore how embracing menopause can transform it from a period of dread into a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

A New Identity

Menopause marks a significant transition, the messy middle between one phase of life and the next.

Up until this point, our identities tended to revolve around being young, energetic, and being able to juggle multiple roles—parent, partner, friend, employee, or business owner. As we age, the ability to perform these roles in the same way diminishes, leading to feelings of grief, powerlessness, and a sense of losing oneself.

But while it might feel scary having no control as you go through all the physical, mental and emotional changes, and you mourn the loss of your familiar self, the transition of perimenopause and menopause could actually be taken as a gateway to another way of being – an opportunity to redefine who we are and what we value.

We can choose to look at menopause and perimenopause from a fresh perspective. So why not have an empowering view of menopause and move into the next life chapter with confidence and strength, feeling like your TRUE SELF; a badass who lives life on her own terms, no longer over-giving, people-pleasing, trying to fit in or tolerating the BS in her life… and WITHOUT feeling guilty?!!

Embrace the wisdom of the change – or feel the fire of resistance!

In our younger years, we all experienced pain, difficulties and setbacks that helped to shape our identities, creating patterns of unconscious behaviour which continue to negatively influence our lives.

As we move through life and endeavour to get ahead, we bump into these parts of ourselves as they sabotage our progress. If we’re aware and willing enough to do the inner work we can heal and transform our early wounding, conditioning and trauma, and love the parts we rejected back into wholeness, which fundamentally changes who we are. It empowers us to accomplish more, gives us a greater appreciation for life and positive self-belief moving forwards.

It’s often tough work, but if we have the right support and we’re committed to the journey, we can move mountains, find our joy and feel peaceful and fulfilled.

Embracing this inner work makes navigating perimenopause and menopause a much easier ride, too.

In contrast, it seems that for many women who may have never really done any personal healing work, or they have some as yet unresolved trauma, or resistance to stepping into who they’re really here to be, menopause can be a really rocky road. Even if you have done tonnes of work on yourself over the years, there might still be something that you need to see, accept, heal and integrate that this natural process will bring to the surface.

Menopause seems to be Mother Nature’s way of helping us grow into our fullest authentic potential as women by helping us to shed or integrate more of our unresolved emotional issues, limiting beliefs, fears and traumas! In fact, anything that stops us from being our true selves – which is of course where our personal power lies.

But this time also usually coincides with having big responsibilities, like managing older teenagers, supporting elderly parents, dealing with bereavements, empty nest challenges and health issues – while holding down a job or running a business. Phew! It’s a lot!

The physical discomfort of menopause, coupled with the emotional stress of holding everything together, can be a really intense time for many women, so no wonder this period feels overwhelming and our nervous systems are charged to the max!

Embracing the changes can lead to an empowering menopause, but if we resist what’s happening and try and ignore, avoid or suppress what we’re going through, it can trigger the fight/flight stress-response.

 The ‘fight’ symptoms can be recognised typically as irritability, anger, aggression, frustration, upset sleep from not being able to switch off – and these frictious states are also ones that create a lot of heat – think hot flashes.

The ‘flight’ symptoms are typically expressed as avoidance behaviour and states of being that leave you feeling hopeless, powerless, anxious, depressed, socially withdrawn, unmotivated and unable to focus or concentrate.

All this resistance takes up a LOT of energy, so fatigue and exhaustion won’t be far away. And when you’re operating from this state of being, it’s no wonder your relationships, work, wellbeing and dreams suffer, too.

But it’s not like this for women in other parts of the world, where they experience very few symptoms compared to women in the West. Why is this?

Empowered cultural perspectives on menopause

In different cultures, menopause is not universally dreaded but often embraced as a powerful phase of life.

• Japan: Menopause, or “konenki,” is often viewed as a natural and positive transition rather than a medical problem. Symptoms like hot flushes are rare – in fact, there is no word in Japanese for ‘hot flush’! This cultural attitude reduces stigma and promotes acceptance and empowerment.

• Native American Cultures: Many Native American traditions honour elder women as keepers of wisdom, knowledge and tradition. The transition is celebrated as a time of increased spiritual power and community leadership.

• African Cultures: Some tribes see menopause as a time when women become spiritual leaders and healers, revered for their life experience, wisdom and knowledge. Menopause can mark the beginning of a period where women are seen as key decision-makers and community leaders.

• Indian Traditions: In many Indian cultures, the transition into menopause can be associated with increased social status and influence. Menopausal women gain freedom, respect and authority, often taking on significant roles in family and community. 

Women move through menopause with more grace and ease in these cultures for a few reasons.

They have emotional and social support from family members and strong community networks, creating a sense of belonging and purpose. They incorporate traditional medicine, nutrition and holistic health practices that focus on balancing the body and mind. And because menopause is viewed as a time of spiritual maturity and wisdom, women feel more empowered and valued.

So while women in the West may not have all of these as given in our society, we can choose to create this by educating ourselves, putting our wellbeing first mentally, emotionally and physically, and reframing menopause as the powerful phase of life and spiritual up-levelling it actually is.

And by seeking out the safe support of other women and sharing our experiences of menopause without the fear and stigma, we will be part of a wise sisterhood that reflects back our value and encourages us to flourish and thrive.